Lara - 小树

一起种的小树 全心全意照顾
为何他的绿叶 留不住
我们像那棵树 无绿尽就干枯
难道努力不一定幸福
还爱你 却无能为力
没养分 爱化为泪滴
心碎像落叶满地
痛都还来不及
还爱你 但无能为力
只能静静看你离去
原来爱死了可以没有原因
沉默凋零从前 杂草布满心田
腐化我们说好的永远
期待整个无奈 你却仍不明白
爱不是用眼泪来灌溉

2011

somehow

i expected 2011 to be a better year

but it seems to be the same as last year

full of disappointments.

for some reason

for some reason

i feel like a ball of tangled strings

that can't be untangled

what should i do?

:(

im a mess in a dress

as of right now

i dont really know what im feeling

but i think

and i tell myself

笑我笨

是不是爱得越深

就会伤得越痛？

尽管

笑我笨吧。

i wanted to ask you

'would you risk your life to save me?'

but then,

i remembered what your answer was

when i  asked you if you would sacrifice everything for me

and i think i already have my answer.

200th post

and it had to be a sad one

again.

dont expect too much

pick yourself up

lately

i know of a friend who hasn't been his usual cheerful self

he's very frustrated and confused

and i know he's struggling to cope

so i thought i'd dedicate this post to him

to give him the strength to stay strong

i hope that his problem will be resolved soon

i know he cant really do much 

and all he can do is sit, watch, wait and listen to his heartbreak

but i really hope everything will be fine soon

i really don't wana see a friend with a 

:(

:/

>.<

and T.T

face

also,

anyone who's facing any problems and difficulties

here's to you too

take care everyone

and the best of luck in everything you do

remember

STAY STRONG!

GASPS!

what's nicer than cuddling up with the person you love

on a cold chilly morning? :)

S.O.S people!!

i can't believe im going to say this

but

i think im turning into a GIRLLLL 

*gasps*

=O

okay wait

dont get me wrong

i am a girl

haha!

let's just put it this way

I THINK IM BECOMING GIRLYYYY!!

*gasps again*

hmm

it is melbourne

or is it that silly boy of mine

that's turning me into a girly girl

oh myy goshhhh

this is totally freaking me out

=/

oh mann

i need the sun

and my shorts

and flip flops

and big lose shirts

HELPPPPPP!!!!

@@

on the bright side

i still dont like pink 

:DD

that's a relief

*phew*

heh

okay

i know im boring you

lol

byeeee

the silence you don't hear

you dont know what it feels like living alone in a house and hearing nothing but silence..til a point where noises are the things that freak you out.

you dont know what it feels like having to juggle your school work, housework and still have to please everyone even though you live alone.

you dont know what it feels like to hear your own echoes in your house because you're the only living thing in it.

you dont know how many nerves breakdowns i need at night so that i can out that smile back on my face the next morning.

you dont know what it feels like to wake up every morning seeing nothing but these four creepy white walls staring at you.

you dont know what it feels like to step outside everyday knowing your not where you want to be

you dont know what it feels like to have everyone crowding around you only to realize how lonely you actually are.

you dont know what it feels like to go through facebook everyday only to find yourself crying because you're lost

you dont know what it feels like having no where to run to for shelter

you dont know what it feels like to see everyone having fun without your presence

you dont know what it feels like to find out how insignificant and small you actually are to others

you dont know what it feels like to be lost and scared beyond compare

you dont know what it feels like to be here with your heart somewhere so far away

you dont know what it feels like to find that people you trust betray you

you dont know what it feels like have the freedom but no where to go

you dont know what it feels like to have dreams of people killing you but no one will save you

you dont know what it feels like to have your heart aching so bad you want to just rip it out of your chest.

you dont know what it feels like to flood your house with tears

you dont know what it feels like to have your heart shattered to a million pieces just after you've fixed it back

you dont know what it feels like to have to stick to people you dont trust because they trust you

you dont know what it feels like to watch someone you believed in lie to you

you dont know what it feels like wanting to hurt someone back so badly but you know you just cant do it

you dont know what it feels like to have on one understand your pain

i've always had this concept in mind when meeting new people - 心本善

but i always get my heart shattered again and again

i'm so disappointed

sometimes i think it would be better off

if i was seriously ill

at least i will get to feel everyone's sincere care

before i leave

right now i feel so lost and alone

it seems that there is no where i belong

and no were i can seek comfort from

多的是，你不知道的事

i wana blast my music in my ear so loud

that i go deaf

then all i would hear is silence

and i wouldn't have to listen to all the nasty things out there

but then

i realized

i would never get to hear your sweet voice again

fight with all your might

CRYSTAL SONG!

REMEMBER YOU SAID THIS!

can things get any better than this?

i live such a pathetic life

*sigh*

all of a sudden

i realize how lonely i actually am

the story of One and Two

One tells Two that Two comes first

But Two knows Two is not first

One thinks One knows Two’s pain

But One does not know

One might be bad at words

But One doesn’t use actions

One thinks Two is flawless

But Two is not

One thinks One knows

But One doesn’t

One doest not fear

But Two fears for One

Two is hurt

Two is frazzled

Two is upset

Two is disappointed

Two needs assurance

Two cries

But Ones does not know

One should continue to think that what One thinks is right

For

Two does not want to have high hopes

Only to realize that

Two has fallen so hard

On bare cold ground.

im heartless

i've gotten the freedom i wanted

but it's meaningless without you guys :(

i want to go home 

and im feeling so frazzled :((

i need a hug and a shoulder to lie on

i miss my silly boy :(((

neither nor

im having doubts

is planet earth really my home?

i dont belong anywhere

only now do i realize that

im lost and im scared

where do i go from here?

im insecure

and i need words of assuring

im lost

im just a child

in front of you, im just a child

i giggle when im happy

i cry when im sad

i throw tantrums when im angry and frustrated

in front of you, im just a child

i need to be pampered

i need to be loved

i need to be cared and looked after

in front of you, im just a child

i'll scream and shout

and stamp my food

and say things i never meant to say

in front of you, im just a child

im silly and i do things to make you laugh

im clumsy and i hurt myself

im weak and i need you to protect me

in front of you, im just a child

a side of me which is true and innocent

i believe in miracles and i trust in strangers

in front of you, im like a child

my love is true and my love is pure

and it comes from the most sincere part of me

called

the heart