the silence you don't hear

you dont know what it feels like living alone in a house and hearing nothing but silence..til a point where noises are the things that freak you out.

you dont know what it feels like having to juggle your school work, housework and still have to please everyone even though you live alone.

you dont know what it feels like to hear your own echoes in your house because you're the only living thing in it.

you dont know how many nerves breakdowns i need at night so that i can out that smile back on my face the next morning.

you dont know what it feels like to wake up every morning seeing nothing but these four creepy white walls staring at you.

you dont know what it feels like to step outside everyday knowing your not where you want to be

you dont know what it feels like to have everyone crowding around you only to realize how lonely you actually are.

you dont know what it feels like to go through facebook everyday only to find yourself crying because you're lost

you dont know what it feels like having no where to run to for shelter

you dont know what it feels like to see everyone having fun without your presence

you dont know what it feels like to find out how insignificant and small you actually are to others

you dont know what it feels like to be lost and scared beyond compare

you dont know what it feels like to be here with your heart somewhere so far away

you dont know what it feels like to find that people you trust betray you

you dont know what it feels like have the freedom but no where to go

you dont know what it feels like to have dreams of people killing you but no one will save you

you dont know what it feels like to have your heart aching so bad you want to just rip it out of your chest.

you dont know what it feels like to flood your house with tears

you dont know what it feels like to have your heart shattered to a million pieces just after you've fixed it back

you dont know what it feels like to have to stick to people you dont trust because they trust you

you dont know what it feels like to watch someone you believed in lie to you

you dont know what it feels like wanting to hurt someone back so badly but you know you just cant do it

you dont know what it feels like to have on one understand your pain

i've always had this concept in mind when meeting new people - 心本善

but i always get my heart shattered again and again

i'm so disappointed

sometimes i think it would be better off

if i was seriously ill

at least i will get to feel everyone's sincere care

before i leave

right now i feel so lost and alone

it seems that there is no where i belong

and no were i can seek comfort from

多的是，你不知道的事

i wana blast my music in my ear so loud

that i go deaf

then all i would hear is silence

and i wouldn't have to listen to all the nasty things out there

but then

i realized

i would never get to hear your sweet voice again