my fear

people were surrounding me, people everywhere were running in all directions. 

some were running out, some were running in.

those running out here devastated, tearing as they ran. 

i too, was running out, alone.

my heart was beating hard as i ran. 

suddenly, something stopped me.

i saw him hand in hand with a woman with bright blue eyes that reflected the sky

and in her hand, was a tiny hand, clinging tightly to her.

he had bright blue eyes like hers and dark black hair like his.

the were running hand in hand

in the opposite direction.

i stopped to watch them, him specifically. 

he however, did not notice me.

suddenly, people around me started to disappear, it was as if i was in a virtual place where everything goes white, and everyone disappears. 

everyone, except him.

so there i stood, in the middle of a stampede. 

people brushing against my shoulders, occasionally banging into me, hard. 

however, the pain was nothing compared to the aching my heart felt.

my heart.

my poor heart.

trying to stay aline and pumping blood frantically 

but at the same time dying slowly.

so slowly that it hurt so bad as if millions of knifes was stabbing it one at a time.

the pain and agony i felt just by watching him.

things shouldn't be this way, i should be heading in with him.

but now, she has replaced me.

in the mist of the pain, i felt a sense of relief.

at least, they're heading in.

with that, i gave him one last look and i told myself

there's no turning back.

with an aching heart and a river of tears,

i turned away

and ran for my life.

every step i took, i was a mile further away from him.

but i knew that i couldn't stop

or i would be gone for good.

until now, i don't know if i was running to stay alive or simply just

running to away from him.

***

on that dark night,

i fear

i would lose you,

forever.